I'm trying not to be angry.

Yesterday Congresswoman Giffords of Arizona was attacked.  In that attack 6 people died and 14 more were injured.  A congresswoman trying to reach out to her constituents, to listen to them, and meet them and talk to them at a local grocery store, was gunned down by a deranged individual. 
It's sad and tragic.  But I find myself trying not to be angry.  Anger is not the best emotion to carry with you.  But I just want to scream at people who still don't want to talk about sensible gun laws and enforcement.  It's not the gun it's the person holding it.  Well you know what-maybe it shouldn't be so flippin easy to get a gun!!!
To get a driver's license you have to take classes, get in car training, and then pass a test.  To get a gun, maybe a three day waiting period/background check.  And in Arizona you don't have to have a permit to conceal and carry. Shouldn't it be harder than this?  You have to be 18 to by cold medicine now, and Big Brother watched how much you buy, but to get a gun, you can walk into any gunshow and walk out with whatever you see and like. These are dangerous weapons.  I get the 2nd ammendment.  But you know what-we don't have a standing militia anymore, and we're not "living off the land" in most places anymore.  And if you are a hunter, quite frankly you should be forced to eat what you kill, because otherwise you're wasting a life.  Wasting a life!  This isn't a video game, there are no other lives after that one. And humans aren't the end all species here.  God is.  And every creature is God's creature.
It just should not be this easy for something like this to happen.  It shouldn't.  And you know what,  I'll sacrifice the 2nd ammendment so that practicing the first is safe!  Get up there and spit out all the disgusting, ignorant, stupid statements you want-I won't shoot you for it.  I may yell back, but at least we can do that without worrying that one of us will be dead at the end.
So, I'm trying not to get angry, but it's hard. 

It's Beginning to Look...

Oh December is here-and finally with it snow.  So if you weren't in the holiday spirit before, you should be now.  And for the most part I am. If I weren't so annoyed with my roommate maybe it'd be a little better, but I won't let him ruin the season. 

The city with snow is pretty-as long as you don't look at the ground.  It can look less pretty after everyone's tredged and driven through it.  However, keep your eyes up and looking at lights twinkling off of trees dressed with snow, and storefronts decorated with garland and ornaments and holiday accoutrements.  A smile will come to your face.  And if one doesn't you probably don't have a heart.

I'm trying to decide how to spend my Christmas this year.  Do I go out, stay in, have friends over, or just enjoy the peace and quiet?  I'm leaning toward the peace and quiet quite honestly.  However, midnight mass is a possibility.  My one catholic tradition that I try and keep when i can.  Far from catholic now, it's the only mass that doesn't completely bore me or make me mad.  It can be quite beautiful depending on the church.  I was going to have friends over...but all the work that goes into that, and I just don't know if I'll have the energy to do it all over again so soon after Thanksgiving.  But we'll see. 

Customers are starting to get the holiday funny in them.  Either way cranky because they cannot find anything on their list, OR, competely willing to take anything you hand them!  I do love when they just listen and don't question-it's like my little bit of influence i have over the world to make sure they're reading the right things. 

Still have yet to do the Xmas cards-can't find my address book.  So, i may have to forgo those this year. Although it makes me a little sad to do so. 

3+ years-I can't believe it!

Shockingly I let the 3 year anniversary pass me by without noting it.  But better late than never right?  I've been in Chicago 3 years, 1 month and 5 days-actually.  Kind of shocking.  I think I'm one of the few who hasn't moved from the first place she moved in to.  A lot of people move around here.  I don't like to move. It makes me sad.  All that packing and I end up getting rid of stuff.  But it's also a physical manifestation of the past years into boxes.  An odd representation of who you are or what you've become-those boxes.  Well, only if you let them be. 

Work:  State and Elm is an interesting and challenging store. Could be challenging for many reasons-but not because it's busy.  After OO nothing seems busy.  But it's a funky city store with crazy customers, a difficult at times, set up (as far as merchandising is concerned) and well-there's always crazies in the city.  I kind of miss driving to work, and I'm pretty much tired of the crazy people on bus.  It's sad to say that-I've become jaded to a lot of it-and that worries me. I don't want to look past someone who is truly in need.  But it's hard to figure out the legit from the not here.  I will say, though, that I'm extremely proud of my holiday set.  And I know it won't stay the same for the whole season-but I like it.  And this store isn't some pretty box that you can just follow the map-but I think I did a decent job-actually I think I nailed it.  But that toughest critic besides myself has not been in yet.  So I will let judgement wait until then. 

Looking forward to a trip to D.C.  I'll be chaperoning Anthony's class trip.  Me and a some parents and a bunch of 13ish year olds, tearing up the D.C.  I'm actually really excited-it's been so long since I've been.  Spring of senior year in college.  I can't wait to go back and see everything that's changed.  It's like going home-I love the place.  If Deb didn't live there I might move there-but the farther away from crazy former roommates the better.

I'm having Thanksgiving at my house with friends.  And although I'll be missing the family-especially little Chloe-she's growing so fast!  I'm excited to have a holiday here with my Chicago family.  It feels like a turning point for me.  Like a point where we all realize that this is my home now.  This isn't an extended stay in a nearby town. This is home.  It's kind of weird-but I'm adjusting. 

The knee is almost there!  I'm done with PT as of a week ago. I still have to schedule my doctor's appointment and then hopefully, keeping all fingers crossed, he'll discharge me.  I still have some swelling and soreness-but that can last for up to a year.  And the numbness on part of it may never go away.  But I'm moving a lot better, taking stairs up and down.  Driving still seems to get me-I'm not sure if it's because it's bent or what.  Tomorrow we're going to head out to the lake front and try a little jogging on a surface that doesn't move.  I kind of miss the tred mill at PT-though i'd never admit it outloud.  But I'm afraid that my energy level is going to drop if I don't keep up with the aerobic stuff-and I have to keep strengthening the quad so the doctor will discharge me. 

Looking forward to the holiday season-been listening to some Christmas music already.  Love it!  Not sure I'm completely ready for the cold weather-but I guess if I want one, the other pretty much comes with it.

A little worried about Grandma E. She's been in and out of the hospital every 3 weeks or so.  And she's in her 80s and I just don't know how much more a human body can take?  Congestive heart failure every few weeks because of all this fluid in her body that then surrounds her heart.  But this has been going on since at least August-that I know of anyways.  She's not in good health, she's old, she's had heart attacks.  I just don't know how much more she can handle.  

Reconnected with Tom through facebook-and that made me pretty happy.  He looks good and I'm hoping there's an opportunity at some point to see him in person.  Sean posted about them coming to see me when he gets back in the states in December-and that would be pretty cool.  I haven't see either in years.  I was  a witness for Sean's and Maureen's annullment and that was odd for me-but I've only seen her and not him since the divorce.  So it would be good to them and make sure I'm still the person I've always been.
I do feel like sometimes I've kind of lost myself out here.  It might be because my circle of friends is so much smaller, and the no family thing, but it's nice to regroup.  I got to do that when I went home for Chloe's 1st brithday.  Played cards with Ray, Brad and Blaise (although Blaise being old enough to drive himself around kind of throws me).  And Steve was randomly here last month-and that made me extremely happy.  But I do miss them all.  And I worry.  So it's always good to be able to see and touch. 

See and touch.  Yep on that note-goodnight.

New Game Plan

okay, we need a new plan.  This knee rehab thing-well it's not going according to plan.  I was supposed to be discharged today-but I'm still in for two months and at least another month of therapy.  6 months out.  It's supposed to be almost over at this point.  I was supposed to be PT free and just doing home exercises. 

But since that's not the case-new plan and new goal.
In one year, I'll be a year and a half post surgery and that's the time limit the doc gave me to solidify the knee, and I'll be sky diving!  All are welcome to come.

Shorter term-get out of PT. Flashcards at work.  I'm going to disperse flash cards in the different areas of the stores with exercises that I have to do and when I stop by on MOD rounds, I'll find one or an employee will give me one and then I'll have to do that exercise for however many reps. 

Part B will involve home stuff that I've yet to figure out.  But I will.  I'm thinking post it notes on the walls and windows.  And some sort of reward system-I'm good with rewards. 

Otherwise it was a crazy day of running and running, doctor, PT, Chiroracotr, and all errands. My day off was wasted running around and not relaxing and sleeping in. 

But i'm making eggs benedict tomorrow-so i guess there's a silver lining!

Falling down

Fall is upon us.  Or at least I was hoping so-but it looks like we'll be back in the 80s this week.  Which, hey i'm not complaining that much.  I know with Fall comes winter, and with winter snow, and with snow that means it's colder than the Fall. 

The knee today.  Ugh.  It's better than yesterday, but not back to where it was before Friday and whatever I did to make it so unhappy this time. I mean, I don't think I re-tore anything-but man, I was liking walking like a normal person, and my hips being properly aligned, etc.  You start to get used to it and quickly, easily and completely forget what the other end feel like.  The bad end, the not normal end.  But life has a way of reminding you with a sucker punch to the gut.  Here's the deal-just a week ago I was walking around Chicago with Steve-yep he came to visit!-kind of-and, whereas I'm slower that about half the population, but still faster than the lost tourists, it wasn't bad.  It was almost normal.  And now, the thought of walking to the bus makes me do an inward cringe. 

I'm, quite possibly the only person excited for the holiday season at work. Although, sometimes I wonder, I love the holiday season, and everything leading up to Christmas, but being away from everyone, I wonder if I'm more excited to kind of face it and get it done with?  Probably half and half.  Maybe one day the family will actually venture out here for the holidays-spend it in Chi-town, take in A Christmas Carol at the Goodman, see the skating rink at Millenium Park, Zoo lights at Lincoln Park Zoo-which are so much better than the Cleveland's zoo.  The Kriskindle market downtown.  I'm not holding my breath-but it's a nice idea. 

Well now I'm tired and need to sleep.  Peace out peeps.

I'm Back!

Well, not that I actually left...but I'm back to trying to write again.  Life has been a big blur filled with Physical Therapy, work, physical therapy, work, going home briefly, work, -do we see a trend here?  

I did manage to have some fun.  A couple concerts in Millenium Park, a couple cookouts, and a few celebrity sightings have also occupied the summer. 

But now it's the transition from summer to fall. Fall being my favorite season. Crisp and fragrant.  Noisy with the leaves on the ground (although I know it's not quite the same in the city). The smell of fire hanging in the air as you walk down the street.  I love it.  All crisp and cool.  I love it!

So PT is almost done.  The end of this month is the goal.  And oh it's a little sore today.  It's a constant roller coaster with this thing.  You  feel great one day and not so the other.  And just when I think that PT won't completely wipe me it does.  An ongoing and constant battle. 

However, the light at the end of the tunnel, is that, as long as the doctor gives me the clear, next September, me and whoever wants to join, will be going skydiving to celebrate the end of the journey (and my 30th birthday) but really let's focus on the year and half from surgery mark.  That's the mark that the doctor gave me for everything to be back to normal-whatever normal ends up being now. 

Well that's all for now.  Looking forward to the Chicago Country Music Festival in the beginning of October.  :) 

Oh life on Chicago busses...

Now that I'm back at work, I frequent the busses.  I take the 76 to the 36 or vice versa.  Now, we all know you can see some really weird things on busses.  Usually crazy people conducting make believe orchestras or talking to the invisible...person next to them about angels, God, or aliens.  And there are always the rude people, who feel the need to take up the priority seating with their healthy 20 something year old bodies.  Now, the other day, coming home from work on the 36 bus I saw something a little out of hte ordinary.  But the oddest part about it wasn't that I saw it-but that I saw 2 people doing the same/very similar thing.

Firstly, we're somewhere on Clark, before Fullerton, and an older gentleman, maybe in his 40s or 50s gets on the bus with a whole bunch of crap.  Now that in itself is not that odd.  But amongst his posessions, and suitcase on wheels he had a large piece of plywood.  Like large. probably 2 feet by 6 1/2 or 7 feet.  and it was probably 1/2 inch or 3/4 inch plywood.  Now I have no idea how this man was carting all of this stuff around-but he proceeded to lay it down-on the spine, or whatever we call it, so it's basically now knee length and running in front of all the people sitting in the priority seating.  Now, a little realized fact, is that the people sitting in the priority seating usually are sitting there for a reason.  And most cannot hurdle the 2 foot tall wall that is now in front of them. 

Well oddly enough, as we continue down the way, a few stops later, another guy, but in his early 20s walks on with a huge piece of plywood.  This one just as tall, and a bit wider, but regardless of the dimensions.  We now have to huge pieces of plywood on the bus!  And people are just blocked in to their seats.  The 20 year old guys left his standing tall and holding on to it in the middle of the aisle, so we all sat there praying he held on to everything so he and/or the plywood didn't topple onto some of us inocent bystanders. 

Now I know we live in a public transit city.  But this public transit city also has cabs and rental trucks and delivery from more places than we thought possible.  I'm just thinking that maybe, just maybe, to avoid the inconvenience, and possible danger, they might have sought one of these options out.  I mean did they know noone who could've helped them out?  I'm just sayin...we might want to limit our trappings that we bring on the bus to stuff that fits in that barred in shelf/box at the front of the bus.  Just a suggestion Chicago.