I hate waiting. Patience was never my virtue. Loyalty I think is-which helps with the patience. But I'm still twiddling my thumbs a lot and tapping toes, waiting waiting waiting.
Waiting for???
Well, that's an excellent question. Waiting for the lightbulb to go on. To be out of debt. To get promoted. For the other shoe to drop. For Mr. Right to walk in the door. To be appreciated.
For my life to figure itself out. Whatevs.
I'm betting we never truly "figure it out" anyways. Whatevs. It's all about the people-the relationships you have. The people you and the impressions you leave on them. Hopefully a positive one. I mean that's really all I want to do with life. I just want leave a positive impact on the people around me. Now if I could just remember that in my weaker moments/days.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Saturday Night
Saturday night/Sunday morning. It was a great time tonight. Hung out with Laura and Joe, and some of their friends. Blue Agave, and then some place in Wicker Park that was way cool. Cortland Lanes or something...not sure. Anyways, good times! And I may have found a new roommate in Joe! Which would be awesome-cause-well I know him already, and he is a blast, and he has furniture, and I'd probably see Laura some more.
But tonight was the stress reliever I needed. And Joe has some good friends. Jackie, Andy, and Mike-just really nice peeps. But I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I just needed to destress a bit.
Joe was pretty drunk. Very drunk. He reminded me of those blow up life size people with weights in the bottom and rock. You can punch them and they don't fall over. Think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2-in the toy store.
I'm way thirsty! Way tired and way going to bed! Goodnight!
But tonight was the stress reliever I needed. And Joe has some good friends. Jackie, Andy, and Mike-just really nice peeps. But I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I just needed to destress a bit.
Joe was pretty drunk. Very drunk. He reminded me of those blow up life size people with weights in the bottom and rock. You can punch them and they don't fall over. Think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2-in the toy store.
I'm way thirsty! Way tired and way going to bed! Goodnight!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Lemonade
I'm willing summer to be here by putting lemonade in the fridge. I even cut up real lemons to put in the pitcher (cause i use country time lemonade mix). It's yummy!
I find myself more excited about life recently. Eventhough not everything's perfect; I mean I don't really know where I'm living come September. There's a few people I need to talk to to figure that one out. And well, I still have bills. And I still live on a budget. But really some of those things I would like to live without (ex. bills) aren't really realistic if I want to be able to plug stuff in and have it work. And eventhough my Au Gratin potatoes are more like potato soup-it still tastes pretty good. So what the heck.
And I have visitors coming this month! Makes me happy! Seeing as none of my family or friends have been here since I moved. (well Missy was but she was here with work and didn't see my house, Andrea was, but she was really visiting her boys, and Shawn was but he was really here for a convention...) Anyways, I'm excited for visitors-and hope to keep them coming. It makes me learn new areas of Chicago that I haven't seen/explored yet.
Blowing off the bike ride till Wednesday-cause I have laundry to do! And a book to read, and since I'm doing the split today I don't want to tire myself out.
Exciting times at work (as always). Down managers, up managers, down managers, training managers, it's crazy. It's my own personal theatre experiment i think. And I still maintain that retail establishments would probably make a great place to have a reality television show. Just sayin!
tis all for now
I find myself more excited about life recently. Eventhough not everything's perfect; I mean I don't really know where I'm living come September. There's a few people I need to talk to to figure that one out. And well, I still have bills. And I still live on a budget. But really some of those things I would like to live without (ex. bills) aren't really realistic if I want to be able to plug stuff in and have it work. And eventhough my Au Gratin potatoes are more like potato soup-it still tastes pretty good. So what the heck.
And I have visitors coming this month! Makes me happy! Seeing as none of my family or friends have been here since I moved. (well Missy was but she was here with work and didn't see my house, Andrea was, but she was really visiting her boys, and Shawn was but he was really here for a convention...) Anyways, I'm excited for visitors-and hope to keep them coming. It makes me learn new areas of Chicago that I haven't seen/explored yet.
Blowing off the bike ride till Wednesday-cause I have laundry to do! And a book to read, and since I'm doing the split today I don't want to tire myself out.
Exciting times at work (as always). Down managers, up managers, down managers, training managers, it's crazy. It's my own personal theatre experiment i think. And I still maintain that retail establishments would probably make a great place to have a reality television show. Just sayin!
tis all for now
Monday, April 13, 2009
my wee little telenovela-names have been changed to protect the privacy of the players.
It's April-joy. It's raining and dreary and cold outside. But inside...it's just starting to get interesting!
My roommate; we'll call her Auriel, has been living with me for almost 2 months. She has had, what i thought was her boyfriend, we'll call him Alan, since she moved in. I mean he's stayed over and what not-I didn't really question anything. Besides there's a bit of a language barrier and who wants to get into the nitty gritty early on. I mean, I like Alan so I had no problemo with him being around.
A week ago though-no we should probably go back to the Spanish Dinner night. The Spaniards planned a nice Spanish dinner, with the Spanish Omelette and Meatballs, and some sort of peasant salad. It was very tasty! ANd there were about 7 spaniards there. Lot's of espanol flying around the room. Well, it's at this dinner party I hear the first whisper of Auriel's boyfriend coming to visit soon.
In my head "boyfriend?...?...!" "WTF?"
Alan's roommate who was here for the dinner was telling Alan to "not sweat it." He had met his current girlfriend in a similar situation and they were still together.
Well I kinda thought I had heard things wrong. Ok, maybe I didn't really think that-but I was hoping.
My hope was a lost cause.
2 weeks later arrives Auriel's boyfriend...from Spain. I didn't actually meet him until his 2nd or 3rd day here because I spent some time with Alan and his friends and then had to work, etc. etc.....ok I may have been avoiding it a little. I mean I'm kind of partial to Alan and was feeling bad that he was having to deal with this. Alan, though, was feeling bad for Auriel because he said it had to be even worse for her! I think he's pretty smitten!
Well I'm feeling a bit weird-cause well, i know what's going on. And Auriel and her boyfriend are so different than Auriel and Alan...but that's not it. Then there was The Question.
"Is she being a good girl?"
In my head "well, define good."
I mean what am I supposed to do/say? I knew this was coming and knew I was dreading having to lie-cause let's just be honest, I can't hide things like I used to.
In my head "thank God we're all drinking!"
i say, laughingly, "Of course!" (inside my head-God don't hate me)!
Yes, I lied. But you know Alan probably would have said she was being a good girl! (and you can take whatever kind of meaning you want from that-I'm sure all apply!)
Part of me thinks he knows-or at least suspects. I'm not sure. But he doesn't respond well to hearing Alan's name-there's no language barrier in that one. It's all polite on the surface but there's an underlying...something that is not completely friendly.
With one more week of this Triangle playing out in front of my very own eyes-and bedroom door-who knows what could happen!
My roommate; we'll call her Auriel, has been living with me for almost 2 months. She has had, what i thought was her boyfriend, we'll call him Alan, since she moved in. I mean he's stayed over and what not-I didn't really question anything. Besides there's a bit of a language barrier and who wants to get into the nitty gritty early on. I mean, I like Alan so I had no problemo with him being around.
A week ago though-no we should probably go back to the Spanish Dinner night. The Spaniards planned a nice Spanish dinner, with the Spanish Omelette and Meatballs, and some sort of peasant salad. It was very tasty! ANd there were about 7 spaniards there. Lot's of espanol flying around the room. Well, it's at this dinner party I hear the first whisper of Auriel's boyfriend coming to visit soon.
In my head "boyfriend?...?...!" "WTF?"
Alan's roommate who was here for the dinner was telling Alan to "not sweat it." He had met his current girlfriend in a similar situation and they were still together.
Well I kinda thought I had heard things wrong. Ok, maybe I didn't really think that-but I was hoping.
My hope was a lost cause.
2 weeks later arrives Auriel's boyfriend...from Spain. I didn't actually meet him until his 2nd or 3rd day here because I spent some time with Alan and his friends and then had to work, etc. etc.....ok I may have been avoiding it a little. I mean I'm kind of partial to Alan and was feeling bad that he was having to deal with this. Alan, though, was feeling bad for Auriel because he said it had to be even worse for her! I think he's pretty smitten!
Well I'm feeling a bit weird-cause well, i know what's going on. And Auriel and her boyfriend are so different than Auriel and Alan...but that's not it. Then there was The Question.
"Is she being a good girl?"
In my head "well, define good."
I mean what am I supposed to do/say? I knew this was coming and knew I was dreading having to lie-cause let's just be honest, I can't hide things like I used to.
In my head "thank God we're all drinking!"
i say, laughingly, "Of course!" (inside my head-God don't hate me)!
Yes, I lied. But you know Alan probably would have said she was being a good girl! (and you can take whatever kind of meaning you want from that-I'm sure all apply!)
Part of me thinks he knows-or at least suspects. I'm not sure. But he doesn't respond well to hearing Alan's name-there's no language barrier in that one. It's all polite on the surface but there's an underlying...something that is not completely friendly.
With one more week of this Triangle playing out in front of my very own eyes-and bedroom door-who knows what could happen!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
My own Telenovela
So I have found that drama is created for lack of anything better to do. People are just never happy-and instead of working harder on making things good or better-they'd rather help someone elses life become worse. I mean don't get me wrong-In work I'm never satisfied-I always want to be better and push myself. It's competitive-that's what I like about it. But I don't want to be thebest because I made someone else the worst through less than integral actions. I want to be the best because I do an awesome fucking job.
Times like these really make you step back and see that life isn't all about being the best-not if you're taking it home with you every day and letting it consume you. Slow down! The journey is important. The Spaniards are a great reminder of that for me. I may think they're a little more of the slow down mode that I would like-but they're enjoying life a little more than I. So I need to fix that, because I want to enjoy life to it's fullest. It's not always easy. Bills and responsibilities can put a damper on things at times. But that is a part of life. And sometimes we just have to face that and learn to live with it and pick out the good. It's there.
Times like these really make you step back and see that life isn't all about being the best-not if you're taking it home with you every day and letting it consume you. Slow down! The journey is important. The Spaniards are a great reminder of that for me. I may think they're a little more of the slow down mode that I would like-but they're enjoying life a little more than I. So I need to fix that, because I want to enjoy life to it's fullest. It's not always easy. Bills and responsibilities can put a damper on things at times. But that is a part of life. And sometimes we just have to face that and learn to live with it and pick out the good. It's there.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
And so the story goes....
Well, I'm getting a new roommate. I'm excited about it. I used to hate change and uncertainty-I wasn't loving it when Deb started talking about this whole sublet thing-but it's actually worked out so far. Laura-sublet 1-has been awesome. I'm going to miss her and am excited to go see RENT with her! Her love for Indian people and hearing tidbits about her experiences there-was fun. And we laughed a lot! So she is moving out and Aurora is moving in.
Fun times-Aurora is from Spain! So, it looks like I'll be re-learning some spanish and she'll be learning some english. Or at least that's the goal...well one of them. I don't know much about her other than she is from Spain and has a couple of cute guys Spanish friends. So that can't be bad! She's here for 6 months and I think we will have some good times. And hopefully some barbecues on the back porch!
I have recently-well not found out exactly-but I have realized that I have become a much more appraochable person than I used to be. This is good. At work sometimes I wish it weren't the case-but you win some you lose some. I think that this might be why the subletting thing is working out so well. I really hit it off with Laura-and Aurora had emailed me saying that she found a cheaper place but really like me and thought I'd be nice-so she wanted the room. And at work-well, i'm not the hated one. And I can still maintain standards with the staff. There are times when I wish I were less approachable for some-and the reign of Dena fear isn't completely absent-but for the most part I'm finding a nice balance. Something I wasn't sure was possible. So I guess this is a yay me post-and well I needed one. Next week might not have me in such a positive outlooking mood.
Fun times-Aurora is from Spain! So, it looks like I'll be re-learning some spanish and she'll be learning some english. Or at least that's the goal...well one of them. I don't know much about her other than she is from Spain and has a couple of cute guys Spanish friends. So that can't be bad! She's here for 6 months and I think we will have some good times. And hopefully some barbecues on the back porch!
I have recently-well not found out exactly-but I have realized that I have become a much more appraochable person than I used to be. This is good. At work sometimes I wish it weren't the case-but you win some you lose some. I think that this might be why the subletting thing is working out so well. I really hit it off with Laura-and Aurora had emailed me saying that she found a cheaper place but really like me and thought I'd be nice-so she wanted the room. And at work-well, i'm not the hated one. And I can still maintain standards with the staff. There are times when I wish I were less approachable for some-and the reign of Dena fear isn't completely absent-but for the most part I'm finding a nice balance. Something I wasn't sure was possible. So I guess this is a yay me post-and well I needed one. Next week might not have me in such a positive outlooking mood.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
i haven't been here in a while
February-haven't been here since last February. It's a short month. I don't like it cause it makes money tight-extra tighter than usual.
The State of the Union is on Tuesday. And I'm excited-this will be the first State of the Union in 8 years that I'm excited to watch and will probably be able to get through without throwing something at the television. How wonderful will that be? i mean our President is articulate! Who would have thought?!?! And he's a constitutional lawyer! I mean-wow a const. lawyer as the President-well finally someone who knows what the constitution is!
And Gay marriage-isn't denying this a clear violation of the 14th amendment and a blatant sign that we are recognizing an established religion's belief? Which would be unconstitutional because we supposedly have a separation of church and state. The things we worry about amaze me. People are starving, unemployed, losing their homes, dying of malaria, or thirst-and we're worried about 2 people we don't know and may never know our whole lives-getting married. Quite honestly those priorities are fucked up! Really?!? People!
Ok so that's my rant-I'm gonna get back to making my hanky panky's and cooking dinner. Yay for the Oscars tomorrow!
The State of the Union is on Tuesday. And I'm excited-this will be the first State of the Union in 8 years that I'm excited to watch and will probably be able to get through without throwing something at the television. How wonderful will that be? i mean our President is articulate! Who would have thought?!?! And he's a constitutional lawyer! I mean-wow a const. lawyer as the President-well finally someone who knows what the constitution is!
And Gay marriage-isn't denying this a clear violation of the 14th amendment and a blatant sign that we are recognizing an established religion's belief? Which would be unconstitutional because we supposedly have a separation of church and state. The things we worry about amaze me. People are starving, unemployed, losing their homes, dying of malaria, or thirst-and we're worried about 2 people we don't know and may never know our whole lives-getting married. Quite honestly those priorities are fucked up! Really?!? People!
Ok so that's my rant-I'm gonna get back to making my hanky panky's and cooking dinner. Yay for the Oscars tomorrow!
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