The Rollercoaster...

Well day 4-and I'll say....
 Well it's definately better than day one I guess.  It's just a total rollercoaster.  Good hours and bad hours.  There are times when I'm moving around (well as much as I can)  or doing the CPM machine-where I'm like-ok this is doable.  I'm getting along just fine.  And then I hit a couple hours later and it's a totally different story.  It's when the back hurting, the butt hurting, the nausea, the feeling like crap-just wears you down.  And no musical mix at the moment can fix it. 

And it's exhausting!  I dread going to the bathroom because I know what effort it will take to get there and back, besides having to lower myself to the toilet and back up!  And it's so frustrating!  Just completely annoying and frustrating.  Not being able to do simple things for yourself.  Where minor things, like an achy throat or upset stomach, are just magnified by the fact that almost every muscle in your body is tired.  I thought being tired was just me being lazy-but I had no idea what a toll it is on the complete psyche-mental, physical, emotional.  It's full fledged.  And I've had friends and family there-and that's good and appreciated.  But I'm on my own a lot which just gives me time to think about all the crappy stuff like this. 

I'm just tired. I'm just exhausted.  I'm just spent and it all makes me over emotional.  It sucks really.