It's Beginning to Look...

Oh December is here-and finally with it snow.  So if you weren't in the holiday spirit before, you should be now.  And for the most part I am. If I weren't so annoyed with my roommate maybe it'd be a little better, but I won't let him ruin the season. 

The city with snow is pretty-as long as you don't look at the ground.  It can look less pretty after everyone's tredged and driven through it.  However, keep your eyes up and looking at lights twinkling off of trees dressed with snow, and storefronts decorated with garland and ornaments and holiday accoutrements.  A smile will come to your face.  And if one doesn't you probably don't have a heart.

I'm trying to decide how to spend my Christmas this year.  Do I go out, stay in, have friends over, or just enjoy the peace and quiet?  I'm leaning toward the peace and quiet quite honestly.  However, midnight mass is a possibility.  My one catholic tradition that I try and keep when i can.  Far from catholic now, it's the only mass that doesn't completely bore me or make me mad.  It can be quite beautiful depending on the church.  I was going to have friends over...but all the work that goes into that, and I just don't know if I'll have the energy to do it all over again so soon after Thanksgiving.  But we'll see. 

Customers are starting to get the holiday funny in them.  Either way cranky because they cannot find anything on their list, OR, competely willing to take anything you hand them!  I do love when they just listen and don't question-it's like my little bit of influence i have over the world to make sure they're reading the right things. 

Still have yet to do the Xmas cards-can't find my address book.  So, i may have to forgo those this year. Although it makes me a little sad to do so. 

3+ years-I can't believe it!

Shockingly I let the 3 year anniversary pass me by without noting it.  But better late than never right?  I've been in Chicago 3 years, 1 month and 5 days-actually.  Kind of shocking.  I think I'm one of the few who hasn't moved from the first place she moved in to.  A lot of people move around here.  I don't like to move. It makes me sad.  All that packing and I end up getting rid of stuff.  But it's also a physical manifestation of the past years into boxes.  An odd representation of who you are or what you've become-those boxes.  Well, only if you let them be. 

Work:  State and Elm is an interesting and challenging store. Could be challenging for many reasons-but not because it's busy.  After OO nothing seems busy.  But it's a funky city store with crazy customers, a difficult at times, set up (as far as merchandising is concerned) and well-there's always crazies in the city.  I kind of miss driving to work, and I'm pretty much tired of the crazy people on bus.  It's sad to say that-I've become jaded to a lot of it-and that worries me. I don't want to look past someone who is truly in need.  But it's hard to figure out the legit from the not here.  I will say, though, that I'm extremely proud of my holiday set.  And I know it won't stay the same for the whole season-but I like it.  And this store isn't some pretty box that you can just follow the map-but I think I did a decent job-actually I think I nailed it.  But that toughest critic besides myself has not been in yet.  So I will let judgement wait until then. 

Looking forward to a trip to D.C.  I'll be chaperoning Anthony's class trip.  Me and a some parents and a bunch of 13ish year olds, tearing up the D.C.  I'm actually really excited-it's been so long since I've been.  Spring of senior year in college.  I can't wait to go back and see everything that's changed.  It's like going home-I love the place.  If Deb didn't live there I might move there-but the farther away from crazy former roommates the better.

I'm having Thanksgiving at my house with friends.  And although I'll be missing the family-especially little Chloe-she's growing so fast!  I'm excited to have a holiday here with my Chicago family.  It feels like a turning point for me.  Like a point where we all realize that this is my home now.  This isn't an extended stay in a nearby town. This is home.  It's kind of weird-but I'm adjusting. 

The knee is almost there!  I'm done with PT as of a week ago. I still have to schedule my doctor's appointment and then hopefully, keeping all fingers crossed, he'll discharge me.  I still have some swelling and soreness-but that can last for up to a year.  And the numbness on part of it may never go away.  But I'm moving a lot better, taking stairs up and down.  Driving still seems to get me-I'm not sure if it's because it's bent or what.  Tomorrow we're going to head out to the lake front and try a little jogging on a surface that doesn't move.  I kind of miss the tred mill at PT-though i'd never admit it outloud.  But I'm afraid that my energy level is going to drop if I don't keep up with the aerobic stuff-and I have to keep strengthening the quad so the doctor will discharge me. 

Looking forward to the holiday season-been listening to some Christmas music already.  Love it!  Not sure I'm completely ready for the cold weather-but I guess if I want one, the other pretty much comes with it.

A little worried about Grandma E. She's been in and out of the hospital every 3 weeks or so.  And she's in her 80s and I just don't know how much more a human body can take?  Congestive heart failure every few weeks because of all this fluid in her body that then surrounds her heart.  But this has been going on since at least August-that I know of anyways.  She's not in good health, she's old, she's had heart attacks.  I just don't know how much more she can handle.  

Reconnected with Tom through facebook-and that made me pretty happy.  He looks good and I'm hoping there's an opportunity at some point to see him in person.  Sean posted about them coming to see me when he gets back in the states in December-and that would be pretty cool.  I haven't see either in years.  I was  a witness for Sean's and Maureen's annullment and that was odd for me-but I've only seen her and not him since the divorce.  So it would be good to them and make sure I'm still the person I've always been.
I do feel like sometimes I've kind of lost myself out here.  It might be because my circle of friends is so much smaller, and the no family thing, but it's nice to regroup.  I got to do that when I went home for Chloe's 1st brithday.  Played cards with Ray, Brad and Blaise (although Blaise being old enough to drive himself around kind of throws me).  And Steve was randomly here last month-and that made me extremely happy.  But I do miss them all.  And I worry.  So it's always good to be able to see and touch. 

See and touch.  Yep on that note-goodnight.

New Game Plan

okay, we need a new plan.  This knee rehab thing-well it's not going according to plan.  I was supposed to be discharged today-but I'm still in for two months and at least another month of therapy.  6 months out.  It's supposed to be almost over at this point.  I was supposed to be PT free and just doing home exercises. 

But since that's not the case-new plan and new goal.
In one year, I'll be a year and a half post surgery and that's the time limit the doc gave me to solidify the knee, and I'll be sky diving!  All are welcome to come.

Shorter term-get out of PT. Flashcards at work.  I'm going to disperse flash cards in the different areas of the stores with exercises that I have to do and when I stop by on MOD rounds, I'll find one or an employee will give me one and then I'll have to do that exercise for however many reps. 

Part B will involve home stuff that I've yet to figure out.  But I will.  I'm thinking post it notes on the walls and windows.  And some sort of reward system-I'm good with rewards. 

Otherwise it was a crazy day of running and running, doctor, PT, Chiroracotr, and all errands. My day off was wasted running around and not relaxing and sleeping in. 

But i'm making eggs benedict tomorrow-so i guess there's a silver lining!

Falling down

Fall is upon us.  Or at least I was hoping so-but it looks like we'll be back in the 80s this week.  Which, hey i'm not complaining that much.  I know with Fall comes winter, and with winter snow, and with snow that means it's colder than the Fall. 

The knee today.  Ugh.  It's better than yesterday, but not back to where it was before Friday and whatever I did to make it so unhappy this time. I mean, I don't think I re-tore anything-but man, I was liking walking like a normal person, and my hips being properly aligned, etc.  You start to get used to it and quickly, easily and completely forget what the other end feel like.  The bad end, the not normal end.  But life has a way of reminding you with a sucker punch to the gut.  Here's the deal-just a week ago I was walking around Chicago with Steve-yep he came to visit!-kind of-and, whereas I'm slower that about half the population, but still faster than the lost tourists, it wasn't bad.  It was almost normal.  And now, the thought of walking to the bus makes me do an inward cringe. 

I'm, quite possibly the only person excited for the holiday season at work. Although, sometimes I wonder, I love the holiday season, and everything leading up to Christmas, but being away from everyone, I wonder if I'm more excited to kind of face it and get it done with?  Probably half and half.  Maybe one day the family will actually venture out here for the holidays-spend it in Chi-town, take in A Christmas Carol at the Goodman, see the skating rink at Millenium Park, Zoo lights at Lincoln Park Zoo-which are so much better than the Cleveland's zoo.  The Kriskindle market downtown.  I'm not holding my breath-but it's a nice idea. 

Well now I'm tired and need to sleep.  Peace out peeps.

I'm Back!

Well, not that I actually left...but I'm back to trying to write again.  Life has been a big blur filled with Physical Therapy, work, physical therapy, work, going home briefly, work, -do we see a trend here?  

I did manage to have some fun.  A couple concerts in Millenium Park, a couple cookouts, and a few celebrity sightings have also occupied the summer. 

But now it's the transition from summer to fall. Fall being my favorite season. Crisp and fragrant.  Noisy with the leaves on the ground (although I know it's not quite the same in the city). The smell of fire hanging in the air as you walk down the street.  I love it.  All crisp and cool.  I love it!

So PT is almost done.  The end of this month is the goal.  And oh it's a little sore today.  It's a constant roller coaster with this thing.  You  feel great one day and not so the other.  And just when I think that PT won't completely wipe me it does.  An ongoing and constant battle. 

However, the light at the end of the tunnel, is that, as long as the doctor gives me the clear, next September, me and whoever wants to join, will be going skydiving to celebrate the end of the journey (and my 30th birthday) but really let's focus on the year and half from surgery mark.  That's the mark that the doctor gave me for everything to be back to normal-whatever normal ends up being now. 

Well that's all for now.  Looking forward to the Chicago Country Music Festival in the beginning of October.  :) 

Oh life on Chicago busses...

Now that I'm back at work, I frequent the busses.  I take the 76 to the 36 or vice versa.  Now, we all know you can see some really weird things on busses.  Usually crazy people conducting make believe orchestras or talking to the invisible...person next to them about angels, God, or aliens.  And there are always the rude people, who feel the need to take up the priority seating with their healthy 20 something year old bodies.  Now, the other day, coming home from work on the 36 bus I saw something a little out of hte ordinary.  But the oddest part about it wasn't that I saw it-but that I saw 2 people doing the same/very similar thing.

Firstly, we're somewhere on Clark, before Fullerton, and an older gentleman, maybe in his 40s or 50s gets on the bus with a whole bunch of crap.  Now that in itself is not that odd.  But amongst his posessions, and suitcase on wheels he had a large piece of plywood.  Like large. probably 2 feet by 6 1/2 or 7 feet.  and it was probably 1/2 inch or 3/4 inch plywood.  Now I have no idea how this man was carting all of this stuff around-but he proceeded to lay it down-on the spine, or whatever we call it, so it's basically now knee length and running in front of all the people sitting in the priority seating.  Now, a little realized fact, is that the people sitting in the priority seating usually are sitting there for a reason.  And most cannot hurdle the 2 foot tall wall that is now in front of them. 

Well oddly enough, as we continue down the way, a few stops later, another guy, but in his early 20s walks on with a huge piece of plywood.  This one just as tall, and a bit wider, but regardless of the dimensions.  We now have to huge pieces of plywood on the bus!  And people are just blocked in to their seats.  The 20 year old guys left his standing tall and holding on to it in the middle of the aisle, so we all sat there praying he held on to everything so he and/or the plywood didn't topple onto some of us inocent bystanders. 

Now I know we live in a public transit city.  But this public transit city also has cabs and rental trucks and delivery from more places than we thought possible.  I'm just thinking that maybe, just maybe, to avoid the inconvenience, and possible danger, they might have sought one of these options out.  I mean did they know noone who could've helped them out?  I'm just sayin...we might want to limit our trappings that we bring on the bus to stuff that fits in that barred in shelf/box at the front of the bus.  Just a suggestion Chicago.

ACL stuff sucks!

ACL tear, rupture, blah blah blah.  It sucks.  It all pretty much sucks.  You know why?  Because once you start feeling half way normal again-that fact-just reminds you how not close to normal you are yet.  And it nags and nags at you.  Yay I can walk!  Oh wait-can't walk far or for long, and you'll feel really stiff and sore-but hey you're not on crutches!  Well, after a while that's not really a bonus anymore.  I know it's a process and I know that, according to my physical therapist, I'm doing well.  But my patience is running thin.  And today I hurt.  And I haven't hurt, enough to really really annoy me, in a while.  Gettting the energy to do my physical therapy exercises at home is harder, because I just want a break!  I know-i've been on this, almost, extended break, at least from work, for a while-but getting better is such a job too!  And there's other stuff I want to do.  I want to go out with my friends and be able to enjoy the city.  And I want to do it pain free-or at least just painful for my bank account.  I know-it's not that bad, and I should be happy or grateful I'm doing so well. But you know what-it's really fucking easy to say that when it's not you!  or when you're so far removed from a similar situation in your life that you don't remember how much it sucked at times.  Let me tell you a lot of things look easier given time and space away from it.  But at least I have this lovely computer record of how much this sucked at times.  I know it's the mental battle that I have to win.  That is the important one-if you win that one the physical one is way easy.  But it's the mental that's hard. hard to beat, hard to do alone, hard to deal with every single day.  when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and you are the only person around-well it's pretty flippin easy to be defeated. 

My Favorite Miranda Lambert song-for the moment...

The House That Built Me-On Miranda Lambert's Revolution album

I know they say you cant go home again.

I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.


I guess I always had a soft spot for our first house in Cleveland.  This song makes me think of that place. 

and so the rollercoaster continues.

I thought with the physical getting better that my moods would be bette.  But that's not always the case.  A couple days ago I couldn't understand.  I mean I'm walking without crutches and getting around better than i have in a long time.  But I was still so bummed and sad.  I think it's this.  This whole process-it's an everyday  thing. It's like having kids-I don't get  a day off.  And I SO want a day off. But you can't-it can set you back-and I do not want that!  And you get so close to feeling normal but then faced with the reality of doing a normal daily task and it's hard or near impossible-well then you're back to feeling like shit again.  Because I should be able to do normal things right?  But not quite yet.  But I'm so close I can taste it!  It's so frustrating! 
However, today, I was given the clear to wean myself off of/out of the brace.  So that means I will start to feel more normal.   And, yes there are still things I can't do.  But to lose the brace-well that'll be a big step!  Can't wait!  And back to work soon.  Which will help with my moods I think.  To be doing something other than reading, watching tv and doing leg lifts. 

You could say the walls are starting to close in on me and that would be an accurate depiction of how it is most of the time here.  Tomorrow will be a good day.  They gotta get better right?

Even when...

I've been feeling better.  Or so I thought.  Physically. I've definately been feeling better physically.  Mentally and emotionally is still a bit of a rollercoaster.  It's weird, because you think you should be off the rollercoaster since "everything else is going os well."  But maybe it's when you're feeling almost normal but still can't do everything by yourself; that's when it's more frustrating.  There's not painkillers to help dampen the pride enough to ask for help.  You just have to do it.  And it's nice to see everyone.  But it's like being so close but just skimming something and losing.  Now, I still have a far way to go-it's not like I'm going back to work tomorrow or anything.  I'm on day 13!  But paitence was never my virtue-and I'm trying really hard to work on that through this whole process.  Between the motivation to do the stuff at home, and the increasing need to feel like I'm on one piece again!  It's this battle of wills.  Thankfully I have a fairly extensive Itunes library you manipulate myself with. The proper motivation.  You just get to this point where you want all of the small steps to be bigger.  And they're not. 

I think, too, it's the drug haze is gone and you start to realize the actual length of time and committment needed to really get back to normal.  Monetarily, time, energy, scheduling, mental-months.  The magnitude starts to hit you.  I mean let's face it, you don't have much else to think about when you're not at work every day or going out with friends often.  It's a lot of "me" time.  And boy that can drive a person batty! 

The good thing in it all is I have no choice.  If I want to be able to walk normally and work normally I have to do it all.  There is no other viable option.  So it does take, at least, the stress of decision making out of it all.

I don't know.  Maybe I'm just bummed I didn't get to go to my Michael Buble concert tonight. :(

and my ass still hurts.

I'm thinking when all of this is said and done I'll need anew left ass cheek.  But I'm guessing that that would be an unpleasant surgical experience as well.  But I bet I wouldn't have to sit on my butt so in fact, my butt wouldn't hurt for that reason!

Right now I have the set up so the cooler and computer are on my left side since my right leg is in the machine.  But tomorrow I'm thinking of changing this up a bit and seeing how it all works on the right side of me.  My left cheek is getting all the pressure right now and that's just not fair.  At least as far as I'm concerned it's not fair.

I think the late night melt downs are on a stand still for the moment.  2 in a row was too many.  But I hadn't really had a melt down yet, not prior to surgery or post.  So during the whole duration since I injured my knee I've been pretty good.  I was doubly due I guess.  Of course today could just be better because I took a shower!  A real shower!  Not a sponge bath/rag bath tease.  But a stand under the spray and let the water wash down you, over you, around you shower.  Now I did have a plastic bag over one leg, but it was still so nice!

Getting in the shower was interesting.  I used a kitchen chair and crutches.  kind of hoisted my bad leg over the side of the tub, then stood up from the chair and used my crutches to support the majority of my weight while I brought the other leg over.  It was scary and dangerous-and so necessary!  Note here: if you are ever in this position I advise turning on the water after you are fully in the shower, that way you're not getting into a slippery wet bath tub.  Thankfully I thought of this before hand.  And have something on the floor for when you get out-again to avoid the slipperiness. 

I've also switched to mostly advil.  Now I'm still taking a lot.  But it's better than the vicodin.  Why anyone would choose to take that stuff I have no idea!  But they do.  I don't like it.  Besides being constantly tired.  You don't sleep well on it.  It makes you woozy and funky all day.  You have weird dreams!  I've had the weirdest of weird dreams.  Involving bikes and bunnies and work and famous people that I've never met.  craziness!

The Rollercoaster...

Well day 4-and I'll say....
 Well it's definately better than day one I guess.  It's just a total rollercoaster.  Good hours and bad hours.  There are times when I'm moving around (well as much as I can)  or doing the CPM machine-where I'm like-ok this is doable.  I'm getting along just fine.  And then I hit a couple hours later and it's a totally different story.  It's when the back hurting, the butt hurting, the nausea, the feeling like crap-just wears you down.  And no musical mix at the moment can fix it. 

And it's exhausting!  I dread going to the bathroom because I know what effort it will take to get there and back, besides having to lower myself to the toilet and back up!  And it's so frustrating!  Just completely annoying and frustrating.  Not being able to do simple things for yourself.  Where minor things, like an achy throat or upset stomach, are just magnified by the fact that almost every muscle in your body is tired.  I thought being tired was just me being lazy-but I had no idea what a toll it is on the complete psyche-mental, physical, emotional.  It's full fledged.  And I've had friends and family there-and that's good and appreciated.  But I'm on my own a lot which just gives me time to think about all the crappy stuff like this. 

I'm just tired. I'm just exhausted.  I'm just spent and it all makes me over emotional.  It sucks really.

Home from the hospital.

Well hello world!  Looks like I made it through!  Actually i don't think i would've minded sleeping a bit more-waking up was NOT fun!  And it was the part I was thinking was going to be the worst-so that's not too surprising. But it hurt like a mother lover!

And so getting ready for bed.  That was an adventure too!  It just took me forever-and i don't know wehre to put all of this stuff!  The CPM machine-the cooler!  everything has cords and is big!  I just want to be able to walk without the crutches!  I don't want to rush myself-but i'm already tired of being so dag gone needy!

And going to the bathroom is a big pain in the ass.  Cause getting underwear down enough over the stupid brace that comes up so high! It'll be comical when it doesn't hurt.  It really will-I mean I almost laugh at it now.  And it's a little more annoying when you have to pee really badly!  They didn't prepare me for that part. I mean I guess I could've figured it out if I would've thought of it long enough-but I didn't.  Thought of a bunch of other useless stuff.  But when it came to going to the bathroom and how to rearrange my room so i could fit everything by the bed-those weren't in the packet Rita gave me.  :(   And really these are the things that end up mattering when you get home.  I mean when's the last time you had to figure out how to pee?  I will say it comes in handy to have some loose wide skirts though.  Especially the ones that can go over your head.  No bending trying to get your broke ass foot (well it's not really broke but since it doesn't really move that far on its own right now), into shorts.  Which i don't recommend-skirts are the way to go!
 
I'm starting to see double now-so the pain pill must be kicking in. Gnite everyone!

Genius

So i enabled the genius function in my Itunes. And so far I kinda like it.  It plays music that I don't hear a lot and forgot that I have.  So in that sense it's nice.  On my list of things to do while layed up is to go through and delete all the music I do not want.  There's a lot of it.  The majority of my memory on my computer is probably music.

Tomorrow is the big day. Surgery day.  Tons of fun.  Can't wait.  Really I can.  I really want to walk and squat like a normal person again.  But other than that I could wait a while for this.  It's just so much stress and it's not worth it.  It really isn't.  Especially when I could have socialized health care if I'd be born in Canada.  Oh well!  Short term-i'm just trying to hydrate myself as much as possible until midnight so they can find a vein in me tomorrow.  ugh needles.  I hate needles.  I wish I could listen to music during this whole thing-that would totally ease my mind. I'd relax and let them prod me as much as they wanted to-with the right music i can almost block out anything.  I'll have to ask my doctor if he listens to music while he works-that would be awesome.

Took the parents around a bit today.  I even got them on a train to go downtown.  Crazy i know-but they did it.  We saw a bit of the zoo and walked around my hood a bit.  Tomorrow they get to see my store before the surgery.  Because, of course, i can't go too long without going to a Barnes and Noble.  I guess it's nice to like where you work and be proud of the company you work for.  Not everyone has that.  And as much as I complain, it's hard to see myself anywhere else for a while. 

I don't imagine it'll be easy to sleep tonight.  As much as I'd like to think it will be-I'm not holding my breath.  If my parents weren't sleeping in the other room I'd question whether all of this was really happening. 
Well here's to going under and hoping i come up.

Turkeys will return..

Okay-so the wild turkeys and other fierce animals will return.  However, my creative juices (if we can call them that) are not flowing. 

Dena Jo is getting knee surgery.  Torn ACL torn meniscus.  tons of not fun.  So far I haven't had a break down.  I'm just waiting for that.  Been keeping it together though.  Which is a little rough.  And I know everyone keeps saying it's for the best, you'll be happy when it's all better, it's not that bad-this stuff has come so far in the years.  Blah blah blah.  I know I'm not having heart surgery here.  But I also know that I am a single white female alone in Chicago on a tight budget.  That's the stuff that sucks and worries me.  I've worked pretty hard on trying to maintain and stay on top of finances.  Improve my credit and all that jazz.  I'm just dreading yet another bill that I have to pay and don't always know where the money's coming from.  Or not where it's coming from but I guess it just mean that any sense of a social life is gone.  Ugh.

With my impending trip under the knife brings the first visit from the parents.  2 1/2 years and here they come.  So I'll be able to show off my sparsley furnished apartment and Northwestern Hospital.  And the hospital is downtown so they'll see a little of the city.  And we do have to drive past my current B&N store to get there.  Not a completely lost cause. 

The turkeys will have to wait

Today started out pretty good.  A little drowsy-but that's usual.

I saw my very first opera-Damnation of Faust.  Riff Raff from Rocky Horror made an appearance-so it made me feel a little more at home.  But it was really cool.  It was a modern interpretation so there were no long braided wigs or viking hats-but hey that's ok.  Lighting was pretty darn awesome.  As it was a dress rehearsal there were a few technical moments of interest for me.  So I loved it.
Then a trip to Garfield Park conservatory-pictures and video coming soon.  It was pretty and warm and smelled good!  And then I checked my voice mail...

Which I guess I should've done last night-or this morning-or well anytime before I did-cuz then I would've been able to call and get some more details-instead I was left with a voice mail and google.  Not a good combination.  The voice mail you ask?  It was the results from my MRI of my knee.  Yeppers-a voice mail.  So, apparently I have a ruptured ACL and torn maniscis something.  She had a name for the tear in the maniscis but I couldn't understand what she said.  Now for all I know this may not be too terrible-however the words surgery and surgeon were also in the voice mail.  And online it said when the ACL and manisicis both have damage-you should probably just have the damn surgery.  But i don't know if we're going with total ACL replacement or if they're just trimming some stuff or what. Thus my worried state. 

And thus why medical people should not leave you voice mails with this kind of information.  Or at least a little more clarification!  Cause now i just have google and key words and put that together and I'm looking at some pretty scary stuff.
And nothing really defines the difference of a rupture compared to a tear-or if there is a difference.  I don't know!  It's all meshed into one-which is why I'm confused worried and mad! 

Ugh.  I wanted to write the second installment of the Turkey blog.  But my creative juices are just not flowing at the moment.  This sucks. 

Wild Turkeys Attack! (and other fierce creatures that don't belong in a bookstore)

It was a chipper February morning.  The sun was out-and it wasn't too cold.  In your local Barnes and Noble things were probably very normal.  Story times, coffee brewing, customers browsing, booksellers zoning, music playing, etc.  All very normal and quiet.  Except for one particular Barnes and Noble...

Down in farthest depths of the downstairs portion of this Barnes and Noble, a music manager, we'll call him Bernie (names may be changed to protect the identities of the survivors), was merrily receiving in his new music and DVD product for the store.  He liked these quiet mornings, being so far from anyone else in the store; the music department was in the farthest, deepest corner of the store, sepatrated by a wall and plexi; the only opening being the single doorway at the northeast corner of the department. Anyways, Bernie is humming along to the Barbra Streisand instore play, going about his day to day business, unawares that today is going to be different than any other. 

Out on the bookfloor Merch Manager Dena Jo was assigning out tasks to booksellers Jerry, Millie, Ruby, Caramel and Patrick.  Endcaps needed to change, tables moved, customers shooed from areas that were awaiting events, etc.  Phaedra was dusting and straightening away in Health and Exercise.And Patrick was cleaning up after story time.  Everyone was clipping along, when all of a sudden a creepy silence came over the store, and hairs started to prickle on the back of necks.  Jerry, being uber sensitive to creepiness, looked up from his project (a Mountainous Animal Endcap-appropriately displayed in the main aisle of an urban city store).  He scanned the aisle with his eyes and nothing seemed amiss; so he walked toward the epicenter of the store, where there was customer service and stairways and escalators, and other signs customers wouldn't read.  As he approached he realized he wasn't imagining the silence, the Babs was just over, and as soon as he got the the customer service desk, Seal blasted through the overhead speakers. 

WIth a shake of his head and a chuckle to himself, Jerry pushed away the prickliness at his neck and stopped to take a good look at his second home.  A gorgeous store-2 stories, the size of a football field downstairs, and open atrium allowing hte second floor to look down at the epicenter.  And windows to let all of the sunshine in from the top floor.  As he scanned the line of windows, he thought he'd go see how Patt, the head cashier, was doing today and headed up the escalators towards cash wrap.  What he found was a most gruesome scene!  As he entered the door at the end of the row of cash registers, he turned to continue into the area, which, oddly, at the moment, had a dark red stain on the carpeting-and on the back shelves, books were sprayed with what appeared to be (and he would know from "other" experiences in his life) blood.  Blood all over everything!  And down at the very end of the line of 10 cash registers, where the gift wrap table was stationed, he saw, what was left of, the source of all of the blood.  Pieces, and I mean Pieces of Patt were scattered under and around the gift wrap table.  He knew it was Patt because of the pieces of his shoes, and khaki pants that he always wore, were slightly visible.  Apparently, whoever, or whatever did this had not taste for polo shirts and old leather shoes-because that was the majority of what Jerry could make out in all the blood. 

What Jerry did next we won't know-because all of a sudden a piercing scream was heard throughout the whole store-and our focus would, of course, follow that person, and Jerry will jump back in when he decided to join the living. To be continued...

The merits of frozen green beans...

Frozen vegetables as ice packs are handy.  I've used corn, peas, beans, and medley mix.  So far I'd have to say that the Jewel brand of frozen Cut Green Beans is the best.  Corn and peas tend to be too small and that too quickly-whereas the beans stay pretty frozen for a while and are a bigger bag.  They can wrap the knee a little better than the smaller vegetables.  So that is my recommendation when using frozen vegetables to ice limbs.

Also, General Hospital.  It's good to know that I can stay caught up just by seeing the previews.  So now that I've watched 2 episodes this week-I'm not lost.  The plot is easy to pick up and predict where it's going.  Jason is still hot.  The kids that were toddlers 3 years ago are now tweens and teens.  Luke-a GH staple is still around.  He comes and goes but it's ok.  And Jax!  My Aussie man is still lookin good!  Along with some new people that doesn't take too much to figure out who they are-I'm all caught up on General Hospital.

Ellen-I think there should be TV's in every place in America so that the country can stop when the Ellen Degeneres Show starts.  It should be the American Ciesta.  Dance a little, laugh a lot, and have a good time. 

Let me also give a shout out to the free ebooks available at bn.com.  mostly bad romance titles and things you've never heard of-or some Jane Austen classics.  So i've been getting my fill of Jane and Harlequin-cuz hey they're free!  It passes the time when I can't clean for hours or cook for hours-sad i know.  But standing that long will be saved for when I go back to work on Thursday. 

Tomorrow-looking forward to taxes online and some free netfix steaming movies.

The Couch Chronicles!

As i reminisce for the next couple days on the couch...

How it all began:
Ozzy Osbourne.  Yep-that's how it all began.  I was just working the event.  Everything going well.  Heck I even sprinted down the line outside (a few hundred people) to find Natalie in the middle of leather clad, Sabbath T-Shirt wearing, chain jingling from pockets, people.  I was feeling good!  I get back inside, check in with my awesome G group-they were chilling in Bargain and cleaning up after themselves.  My DM radios that Ozzy has arrived and I'm needed in the music department to take my post at the table.  (Yep I was at the signing table-shooing and thanking all of the fans for coming and waiting for insanely long hours).  In the few brief minutes before Ozzy came out to the table, and I was patiently waiting at my post, the next name that is infamous in this story is Bernie Gonzalez.  He was at the entrance to the music department. 

He called my name; for a reason that I've still yet to figure out. Because I think he just wanted to tell me that we were starting soon or something (which I already knew).  Well i travel on over to him-a mere 10-15 feet from my post.  Not far, not rocky or difficult terrain-flat-like comepletely flat-in a store-so it has to be flat.  Nothing to trip over, because well there usually isn't anything to trip over, but we were being doublysure of that since Ozzy would be walking through.  So Bernie shares his message with me (again I don't remember it being of any real importance, but I honestly don't remember because after that moment I was in a whole lot of pain, and on an adrenaline rush working at Ozzy's table); and i turn to head back to my post, I believe as i was turning a corner around a fixture perhaps is when my knee decided it didn't want to continue in the most logical sense.  I felt weird-wasn't where it should be.  I thought it would go back to it's place in a second.  Stepped down. and realized that this was not the case when the shooting pain shot through me and my eyes welled up with tears. 

I don't plan on ever giving birth-but lamaz is good to get through any kind of pain-and that's kind of what i did.  and a whole lot of asprin.  and adrenaline. 

Ozzy fans are crazy dedicated people.  And they range in ages from very young to very not.  They were waiting in line starting Thursday night.  It was absolutley insane.  A blast.  it was fun.  and I'm so happy i got to be a part of it.  bummed I didn't get to meet Sharon-but hey those are the breaks.  I follower her on twitter-so it's ok.

So chronicles from the couch.  My butt hurts.  I'm so sick of sitting forever and ever. Leg up leg iced horse pill taken.  Can't move in my sleep.  Ugh it sucks.  But it's getting better-and I'm hoping it keeps going that way. 

Late Night Food Escapades

A new..um..hobby has started in my life.  Late night food escapades.  A search for the best late night food joint/diner/dive/etc. 
There's something about late night food.  And 24 hour establishments.  They either get you all excited to clog some arteries in a flavor orgasm OR you cringe at the thought of whether or not the spatula fell on the floor and if the cook replaced it, and if he didn't was the floor at least mopped in the last week.  Yes.  I know-it's exciting.  But really-it's important research.  Which one has healthier options? Which one has the best hash browns?  The best pancakes?  The best cobb salad?  The cleanest bathroom?  The quickest service? The funniest clientelle?  And the list goes on and on....  So that's it in a hand bag.  That is what is on the horizon.  Look out world-here we come!