I thought with the physical getting better that my moods would be bette. But that's not always the case. A couple days ago I couldn't understand. I mean I'm walking without crutches and getting around better than i have in a long time. But I was still so bummed and sad. I think it's this. This whole process-it's an everyday thing. It's like having kids-I don't get a day off. And I SO want a day off. But you can't-it can set you back-and I do not want that! And you get so close to feeling normal but then faced with the reality of doing a normal daily task and it's hard or near impossible-well then you're back to feeling like shit again. Because I should be able to do normal things right? But not quite yet. But I'm so close I can taste it! It's so frustrating!
However, today, I was given the clear to wean myself off of/out of the brace. So that means I will start to feel more normal. And, yes there are still things I can't do. But to lose the brace-well that'll be a big step! Can't wait! And back to work soon. Which will help with my moods I think. To be doing something other than reading, watching tv and doing leg lifts.
You could say the walls are starting to close in on me and that would be an accurate depiction of how it is most of the time here. Tomorrow will be a good day. They gotta get better right?
No comments:
Post a Comment