ACL stuff sucks!

ACL tear, rupture, blah blah blah.  It sucks.  It all pretty much sucks.  You know why?  Because once you start feeling half way normal again-that fact-just reminds you how not close to normal you are yet.  And it nags and nags at you.  Yay I can walk!  Oh wait-can't walk far or for long, and you'll feel really stiff and sore-but hey you're not on crutches!  Well, after a while that's not really a bonus anymore.  I know it's a process and I know that, according to my physical therapist, I'm doing well.  But my patience is running thin.  And today I hurt.  And I haven't hurt, enough to really really annoy me, in a while.  Gettting the energy to do my physical therapy exercises at home is harder, because I just want a break!  I know-i've been on this, almost, extended break, at least from work, for a while-but getting better is such a job too!  And there's other stuff I want to do.  I want to go out with my friends and be able to enjoy the city.  And I want to do it pain free-or at least just painful for my bank account.  I know-it's not that bad, and I should be happy or grateful I'm doing so well. But you know what-it's really fucking easy to say that when it's not you!  or when you're so far removed from a similar situation in your life that you don't remember how much it sucked at times.  Let me tell you a lot of things look easier given time and space away from it.  But at least I have this lovely computer record of how much this sucked at times.  I know it's the mental battle that I have to win.  That is the important one-if you win that one the physical one is way easy.  But it's the mental that's hard. hard to beat, hard to do alone, hard to deal with every single day.  when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and you are the only person around-well it's pretty flippin easy to be defeated.