Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Out of touch

Well, as if I didn't need another reminder of how out of touch I am with the people who mean the most to me. It's insane how much happens before our eyes. Just because there is a plan on my end. Or I'm checking facebook and myspace doesn't mean the people on the other side really feel you there.

After college I wasn't sure how to be friends with people whose lives seemed father beyond mine. Everyone was moving in different directions and I was unsure of my place in their lives. And so I became distant and focused on the ones geographically close, since that was easiest. Eventhough, at times, I felt like the people who I don't see everyday probably new me better than others. And now I'm in Chicago-and I'm even farther removed. It's no one's fault but my own. But it's a slippery slope on how to fix it. And now I have friends who have kids, spouses and divorces, and I'm not really sure when this all happened...I know I went to couple weddings, but it seems an almost habit to answer my email and find a new notice of a new baby. It's crazy. I prided myself on not taking things or people for granted. And I don't-In my head I'm grateful and aware, but in reality-I'm kind of an empty plate at the table. Hmph....

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